Pressures, Expectations, and Sanity
- Charlie_C
- Jan 8, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Jan 15, 2019
Recently I read Death of a Salesman, a play written by Arthur Miller, and I noticed the underlying message within the storyline as well as how relatable is it to me. The idea of having to live with not only your own pressures, but the pressures from your parents to be successful is very frustrating and can often lead to being unable to think clearly at times. In the play, the main protagonist, Willy Loman has this idea in his head of being the most successful and well known salesman when in reality, he is struggling to make ends meet and he is losing his status at work. He constantly pushes his sons to be successful and have the mind set, that being well-liked is a priority in order to achieve success (read more). But in the end, it results in the destruction of their relationship. This idea connected with me, not only because my parents are constantly inputting their morals and believes on me on how to become successful, but my own beliefs also clouding my judgment. I often find myself in situations where I am unable to make good judgment calls because I feel short circuited because I feel like I am unable to achieve success no matter how hard I try. These expectations from my parents put quite a bit of strain on our relationship, as it seems that whenever we converse, they only focus on I could do better as well as other expectations instead of acknowledging how hard I work.
Death of a Salesman not only touches upon the hardships of expectations, but the difficulties of relationships between work and family. In many cases, I find that my parents put their work ahead of the family and it is shown as our relationships often become disconnected and we have difficulties trying to reconnect with one another. Not only do expectations from others hamper relationships, but self expectations as well. I find that self expectations tend to cause a lot of stress on individuals especially when they are so driven towards success. Though success is important, healthy relationships with the mind and body are equally, if not more, important.
Throughout the play, Miller touches upon Willy's dementia and how it affects his attitude and sanity. It causes Willy to often live in the past and forget his surroundings as he is so absorbed in reliving his past glories. When I read these scenes, it made me think of my late grandmother who also suffered from dementia. Like Willy, she often lived in the past and was constantly reliving not only happy moments, but traumatic ones as well. I enjoyed sitting with her at night when she would sleep over, as she would tell me stories of her past, but I was often saddened when reality hit and I realized the fact that she was slowly losing track of her thoughts and soon she wouldn't be able to remember me.
This story follows a family who is struggling to rekindle their relationships with each other. They are constantly fighting, and the route of it all is the desire for success as well as the lack of humility that Willy Loman and his sons possess.
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I think you did well in explaining the hardships that come with relationships. Any kind of relationship comes with its problems, and it can be difficult for us to deal with them. Willy and Biff don't have a great relationship due to their problems, but their unconditional love still exists through all the noise. Though Willy's dementia is kind of a major component in their problems, the memories Biff made with him, even when they were in bad terms, were still very meaningful to both of them. It's understandable to be mad at your parents and believe they're being insensitive, cause I've been there too. I think things will get better, unlike the book, as long as we do wha…
I agree with your point that work and expectations can put a strain on family relations as I feel this way with my family sometimes too. Having your parents only see your faults is definitely not easy and although I know they do this because they want the best for us, it doesn't make the relationship any less strained. You mentioned parents putting work before relationships and I think this is very true. Oftentimes, it is easy to lose yourself in work and forget about spending time with family-which of course should be important. Like you said, trying to fix a broken relationship wouldn't be easy as shown in Death of a Salesman.
Wonderful outlook on the force that parents put on their children, very relatable to millennial children. Many of us feel "short circuited" as we say when faced with stressful situation that can put us in a tight space. The world loves to challenge those who excel in life and when faced with those challenges individuals must choose if they will face their obstacles head on or cower in fear behind another. While many choose to cower, you on the other hand chose to face these challenges with a smile on your face and motivation. Clearly you are a self aware individual who is driven towards success. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
While I agree with Joshua that having your parents push you to be the best you can be and force you to do some things you might not like in order for you to be successful is helpful in paving your path for the future, I agree more that the health of relationships is more important. In my opinion nothing should replace loving others and expressing that love. This is not to say strict parents don't love their children, but that sometimes the way they show their love might not be the way their children want to or need to receive that love.
This piece does an excellent job in highlighting the importance of family relationships. I question if the strain put on you by your parent is unhealthy? I think that there are some definite downfalls to strict parents, it may seem like all they see if what you could do better but I'm sure they just want success for their child. Especially in todays world the competition has never been so fierce, that's why it is absolutely necessary to push your kids to their maximum potential. This tough love is a side affect of todays rapidly expanding society and the only way to come out on top is to sometimes sacrifice guilty pleasures and adapt to the your new environment.